I also do solidarity work for LGBTQ+ people, and I'm thinking about how to get people out of prison and supporting people in getting out of prison and supporting people in surviving while they are incarcerated. It wasn’t anger toward them that I felt; it was my own shame. I was too full of doubt, even just about my name. The size of her hands, the width of her neck. I asked my partner to call me nothing for a while.I hesitated to explain why I’d chosen the name—to admit that it was, in some way, a name that belonged to my parents. They’d written an acrostic with “Grace” and “Cyrus” intersecting at the “r,” an uneven cross. I stayed in one of the children’s rooms, in a twin bed with a monogrammed pillow. There’s obviously a lot of anal sex in my book. It's tough because we could talk about the book, or we could talk about my actual movement work and the work I actually believe in and that I feel like I need to be doing. When we talk about movement work, we have this warped idea that it's always with a bullhorn in the streets, and I'm in a position where I can possibly critique that in ways that other folks can't because I've done that too.
I hope people who aren’t necessarily thinking critically about their own will for power and recognition might read it and feel some different things about those themes. I turned on the radio, and thought about asking him to turn around. I've been taught by people that I look up to, organize alongside, and mentors that radical social change starts with the people that are facing the most violence, and we can't actually change or abolish gender unless we abolish state systems and state forms of violence that entrap people.
I needed the surgery, but I was always trying to make the need disappear. It resonated with me because of the anal and I love you dyad. I told myself there was no bringing her back.Each day, I imagined myself with the name of a different man. Coat, Top, and Pants by BOTTEGA VENETA.

Simon, the first two syllables of Samuel’s original last name. But I’d shared little with them. She told me that her name was Venus, and I told her that my name was Grace.“That’s my son’s name,” she said. I held myself to harsher standards: I ought to be able to redefine myself without a new word, a titular fresh start. Her small hand fit perfectly in mine. This was a gender-confirmation surgeon, after all. On the day of the procedure, my father woke me up at 8 The drive to the hospital was eight minutes. In my head, I gave more value to the latter, but what is really the line, if my comfort is wrapped up in how I'm viewed in the world.How could it not be? I wrote the book that I needed to write and that I wanted to share with my loved ones.I know that I make people feel extremely held and witnessed, and I also know that I'm able to use language to articulate things that make people feel less alone. I hope some parents of trans or GNC or just really weird deviant children, will read it and make more room for their children’s doubt and confusion, without discounting their deep intuitions of who they are. Many brilliant writers and thinkers have both written and talked about the ways that trans people often only get access to the care they need if they can convince institutions and people with power that they are sane. My voice sounded soft and high, a voice I knew from a long time ago, waking up groggy in the morning to my mother’s knock on the door.A few weeks before surgery, I asked a writer I admired how they know when a book is finished. I feared what I would be taking away from them—a daughter.I still grew dizzy when I thought about changing my body, through hormones or surgery. It was too scary to say it out loud. I wanted to keep my eyes closed, to home in on sensations—which I rarely did. I sat in the waiting room with a girl who looked fourteen or fifteen. Kids are so funny. There's so many ways to do that.Cyrus Grace Dunham is a mess, and they aren’t trying to hide it. I always thought it was simply because of how I had always been treated by men and boys because they could sniff out my femininity.But I don't have this essentialist idea around transition, that you always have to feel that kind of dysphoria. Did you always have what you would call dysphoria?Yeah, in some way. I also experience extreme gender dysphoria and always have. Getting to connect with people brings me joy. I said “Grace” in a higher pitch. At the center of the story is Cyrus Grace’s unresolved feelings about where they stand with their gender identity.

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